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FIRST PRIZE WINNER Kipper’s Pride Chapter 1 “Wait for me, Jervan!” I hear Jan’s shout in the dusk, but ignore it. She can run as fast as me if she wants. Identical twins have the same legs – well, the same length of leg. And time’s in short supply. We’re late. I race on until I reach the top of the concrete slope that tips down to the harbour, and then I sag against the low wall, gasping for air. A few moments later, Jancis thumps to a halt beside me. She stands there, breathing hard, holding her sides. “That - must - be - half - a - mile from the dunes. I’ll walk next time.” “It’s getting dark quickly,” I tell her. “A storm’s coming. Did you notice how the air changed back there and the seaweed began to stink?” I can’t see the rocky foreshore from here, but if I could, it would be disappearing fast – boulders, pebbles, shingle and seaweed – below the rising tide. I love watching the way the incoming water rushes round each rock, hugging it to death, and slithering over it like clingfilm before zapping it. Jancis tugs my arm. “Never mind the science behind a storm. If you don’t get a move on, we won’t get back to the caravan before Mum. She’ll kill us.” She jabs a finger into my chest. “You nearly got us caught by the tide back there.” She flicks her long hair back in that annoying way she has when she’s right and wants me know it. “I didn’t hear you begging to leave. You like the rocks as much as I do.” “You wouldn’t have listened, even if I’d said we were about to drown! Why d’you think we’re always in trouble? It’s because you, Jervan, don’t listen. Sometimes, I’m not even sure we’re twins.” I frown. If Mum decides to be really cross, my holiday money will be cut. And anyway, it doesn’t seem right to upset her, not while Dad’s still at home on sick leave from the army and missing this holiday. I know how worried she is about him. I’ve seen her watching when he isn’t looking. Her face goes still, as if she’s forgotten how to move the muscles. “OK,” I say. “If we sprint the last half mile, we’ll just about get to the van first.” SECOND PRIZE WINNER Shaken by China Chapter 1(part): Fame I knew nothing about the guardians of the flame, yet they were my route back to sanity, my transport back to a wholeness of body, the restoration of my will to live and my belief in good fortune. Since my recovery I have seen footage of them in action. Tall young men dressed in blue with cropped hair and serious faces, square jaws. They could be taken for American GIs out on a cross-country run, or athletes training for the then approaching Olympic Games, or convicts running around an exercise yard in a US prison. There was just one characteristic that set them apart in the western world, that marked them out as different, foreign. Something that seemed at odds with their height, their demeanour, even their role. Each of the men had slant eyes. They were Asian – Chinese to be exact, which also explained the slight yellowness of their skin – barely detectable on the TV screen. THIRD PRIZE WINNER DARK AGES Chapter 1 Bang. The gun sets me free. My head is under the water before the echo bounces off the sun-white tiles. Arms slicing, legs kicking against the blue. Bang, bang, bang, the metronome in my head. Count the breaths. In front of me the pool churns and boils in the panic of other racers. A buzz spreads through the water like mosquitoes caught in a net. Those girls have forgotten I am back here. But I see the waves softening around them as they slow down. This is what all those chlorine soaked mornings have been for. I can do this. Nothing else exists except the water around me. I swoop past one, two, three black shadows. My body rolling. Flip turn. Deeper under again. As long as the edges stay sharp then I am out in front. They can’t catch me. Break the surface, smile as I suck down air. But it slows me down. Hands stretching and scooping back energy, every muscle trained to extend and not snap. The whole school will be cheering me on, feet stamping. Sunlight breaks through the surface like being surrounded by mirrors. I am finally going to win something. Inter-regional champion. I will be somebody. Goggles pressing against eye sockets, no room to blink. |
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DO YOU WANT A SHORT, 500 WORD REPORT ON YOUR ENTRY? David made notes on all the entries and is prepared to do a short report identifying flaws and offering pointers on how your story can be improved. The cost is £10 per report. If you are interested, please contact David through the Writelink private messaging system. Login into the site http://www.writelink.co.uk/community and email Davidr from the My Mail link at the top of the site. Alternatively, you can contact him through his website: http://www.dwrob.co.uk PLEASE NOTE: THE CRITIQUE IS FOR YOUR STORY ONLY. IT WILL NOT DISCUSS THE WHYS OR WHEREFORES OF THE NOVEL BEGINNINGS COMPETITION! |
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