<p><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: small;">This email is doing the rounds so I thouht I'd get it in first. &nbsp;Well, if you haven't already received it.</span></span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="font-size: 8.5pt;font-family:&amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;;mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;; mso-bidi-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB; mso-fareast-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;">You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.</span></span><span style="font-size:8.5pt;font-family: &amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;;mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;mso-bidi-font-family: &amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">To write with a broken pencil is pointless.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A thief fell &amp; broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">When the smog lifts in </span></span></span><span><span style="font-size:8.5pt;font-family:&amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;; mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;mso-bidi-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;; color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-fareast-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;">Los Angeles</span></span></span><span><span style="font-size:8.5pt;font-family:&amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;; mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;mso-bidi-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;; color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-fareast-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;"> , U.C.L.A.</span></span></span><span style="font-size:8.5pt;font-family:&amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;; mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;mso-bidi-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;; color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-fareast-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">The dead batteries were given out free of charge.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail .</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A will is a dead giveaway.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A backward poet writes inverse.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A chicken crossing the road, poultry in motion.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A grenade that fell onto a kitchen floor in </span></span></span><span><span style="font-size:8.5pt;font-family:&amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;; mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;mso-bidi-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;; color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-fareast-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;">France</span></span></span><span><span style="font-size:8.5pt;font-family:&amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;; mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;mso-bidi-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;; color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-fareast-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;"> resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 8.5pt;font-family:&amp;quot;Lucida Grande&amp;quot;;mso-fareast-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;; mso-bidi-font-family:&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;;color:#333333;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB; mso-fareast-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A calendar's days are numbered.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">A boiled egg is hard to beat.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">He had a photographic memory which was never developed.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span><span style="font-size: small;">Acupuncture: A jab well done.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>