<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser /> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>Here&rsquo;s one from the Beeb<em> (I don&rsquo;t know why I refer so many people to them, they don&rsquo;t publicise my books.)</em></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>The Ig Nobel awards have just been announced and there are some interesting recipients.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>A couple from Newcastle University demonstrated that cows with names give more milk. The only problem I can foresee with that is when you have herd of 100 prize Friesians, you&rsquo;ll run out of names like Daisy, Ermintrude and Buttercup in no time, and you&rsquo;ll need a hell of a memory to remember them all.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>The Ig Nobel peace prize went to a team from the Universtiy of Bern, Switzerland who researched the question of whether it&rsquo;s better to be hit over the head with full beer bottle or an empty one. Where did they get the volunteers?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>The best one of all was the Public Health Award, going to a couple from Chicago who developed a bra that, in an emergency, can double us as a gas mask <em>(double up pun intentional)</em>. The only thing I can see is I hope she keeps herself clean.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>You can see the list of awards, which includes the Japanese researchers who discovered that kitchen waste can be reduced by 90% of its mass by using panda crap, here:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8285380">http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8285380</a>.stm</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p>

<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> Normal 0 </xml><![endif]--></p> <p>About eighteen months ago, Her Indoors and I spent a romantic weekend in Amsterdam.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Romantic? At our age? What's age got to do with romance? In this case, plenty. Ma'am's notion of a loving weekend were scotched by my left knee which had swollen to about twice its normal size, and was so painful that it ensured nothing else could swell to gigantic proportions <em>(make of that what you will)</em>. In addition, the weather was so cold that I spent the entire two days wrapped up in an old reefer jacket and a pair of scruffy jeans. I was only short the tin cup and I could have made a fortune begging my way up Damrak. The only romance was tuning into BBC1 in our hotel room and watching United thrash Arsenal 4-0. It's the kind of fairy tale ending I like.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>In short the weekend was a disaster. Even visiting the Red Light District was a disappointment <em>(she couldn't find a red lampshade for the front room.)</em></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Ma'am threatened to make me pay for that catastrophe and she has done. She's making me take her to Amsterdam again ... today, and the RLD is high on the agenda. Ma'am figures that the reason we didn't find the lampshade last time was because I was moaning about my busted knee.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Her friends at work have also advised her to try the special cakes. Carol's hoping they serve them with custard. I'm not saying my wife is na&iuml;ve but ...</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>So later this afternoon we will hop into the jalopy and scuttle over to Kingston upon Hull where we will board our tramp steamer to Rotterdam and tomorrow, while you begin to feel the chill of November 1st, we will be soaking up the blistering rain in the balmy 10 degrees of the Dutch capital.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Yes, we are going by boat. It was the only way I could get my own back on her. If you recall we went to Bilbao by boat last year and Her Indoors was throwing up while we were still in Portsmouth dock.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Late last night we finished the packing. We're going for two days but taking enough gear to last two months. Our suitcase will probably press the Pride of Rotterdam below the Plimsoll line. Anticipating the worst as ever, I have visions of the captain throwing our case over the side to avoid launching the lifeboats.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>The argument went on for ages. What kind of woman packs tea towels and pillowslips? "Are you not taking the ironing board?" I demanded and promptly wished I'd never opened my mouth because it reminded her that she'd forgotten the travel iron.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I took pictures on our Bilbao jaunt, but for some reason, the Bay of Biscay was listing seriously to port on every picture. Probably global warming sending all the water to the North Pole. I'll take pictures this time, too, but since it's an overnight journey they may be a bit dark. Semi-pro dark, obviously. I'm not using the compact Fuji anymore, not after coughing up a month's wages for the all-singing, all-dancing Sony, DSLR. I should get a clearer shot of the funnel for Mo.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>It may not be totally dark, though. The Moon is at 95% (Full at 7a.m. Monday) and with a bit of luck it will light the way. At the very least, the skipper should be able to get across to Holland with his headlights on dipped beam.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I'll be on the lookout for the sights of the North Sea. Like Dogger Bank. If I'm to enjoy my retirement, I'll need a higher rate of interest than the Yorkshire are currently offering, and where better than an offshore account. I've also packed a couple of 5-gallon jerry cans in case we come across an oilrig. Even with Tesco knocking off five pence per litre, I'm paying an extortionate amount for petrol, and I guess it'll be cheaper at source.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I shall be back on Monday, about lunchtime, with all the gory details. I'm sure they'll make Halloween look like a Sunday picnic. Until then be good and if you can't be good, be careful. And if you can't be careful, learn to ride a bike.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>

<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--></p> <p>I don't claim credit for these. A pal sent them to me in an email, but they raised a smile here.&nbsp; Enjoy.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>SMART ASS #1</p> <p>It was mealtime during an airline flight.</p> <p>'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John.</p> <p>'What are my choices?' John asked.</p> <p>'Yes or no,' she replied.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>SMART ASS #2</p> <p>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.</p> <p>As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.</p> <p>Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>SMART ASS #3</p> <p>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'</p> <p>The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>SMART ASS #4</p> <p>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.</p> <p>Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'</p> <p>The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>SMART ASS #5</p> <p>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'</p> <p>A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'</p> <p>The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>SMART ASS #6</p> <p>A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'</p> <p>The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>

<p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; April 26th, Shakespeare's birthday is a week and a bit away and I thought it was time some of his better-known quotes were brought into the 21st century.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">It's something I've brooded on for 40 years and more. In a school production of Julius Caesar, I played Cassius and I never once got to say, "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." <em>(For the benefit of those who don't understand that gag, Mohammed Ali's real name was Cassius Clay.)</em></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">So here we go with a dozen or so Shakespearean quotes, given the DW treatment.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">What' s in a name? That which we call a rose is probably a carnation but would Lorne Spicer know the difference?</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">Methinks the lady doth protest too much. She's never been a size 10.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">If music be the food of love, make me a banjo butty and get your knickers off.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">All the world's a stage and I'm a highway man. Hand over your wallet.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">To be or not to be, that is the question ... er ... can I phone a friend?</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than a pint of lager and the next episode of Eastenders.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">What light through yonder window breaks? It's that damned daughter of yours, watching Twilight on DVD again instead of doing her homework.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">A horse, a horse. My kingdom for a horse .... You heard. Richard's Charger, three thirty at Kempton, two quid each way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">Be not afraid of greatness. Get thee into the Big Brother house and come away with the hundred thousand sovs.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">Alas, poor Yorrick. I knew him Horatio. And look at the state of him. Anorexic to the bitter end.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">Shall I compare thee to a summer's day ... hot, heavy and sweaty.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;">Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Wherever thou art, switcheth on thy mobile phone, we need a loaf on your way home from work.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p>

<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser /> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">I&rsquo;m appalled. It appears my phone messages have been tapped.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">Last Wednesday&rsquo;s <em>Weekly Liar </em>reported an exchange of messages between me and my mate, Jim.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">DW: <em>Jim, has anyone seen my 3/8 AF spanner, only I can&rsquo;t loosen the bolts on my front gate without it.</em></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">Jim: <em>What kind of idiot question is that? Those bolts are 7/16</em></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">DW: <em>Soz, Jim, ur right. I found a 15/32 which is near enough. It was in the knife drawer. Catch u l8r.</em></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->&nbsp;<!--[endif]--></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">This kind of underhand practice could seriously damage my reputation as a DIY bodger.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I'm considering legal action.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> </span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>

<p>Air traffic across Europe was grounded after an alert caused by DW's underpants. While passing through the security scanner at a well-known airport, his jeans slipped from his waist to ground level causing a continent-wide alert.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>When asked how a pair of Y-fronts could create such chaos, the airport, which did not want to be identified, retorted, "Have you seen them? They're so old the elastic in them is made from real catgut. They were three sizes too big for him and they didn't leave much to the imagination. Especially from behind. The sight was so frightening that our scanner operator fainted and unfortunately fell forward onto the alert button, triggering simultaneous alarms all over Europe."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>The alarms automatically grounded every aircraft already on the ground, and caused huge stacks over every major airport in Europe as aircraft already in flight waited to land. Mr C Bugrall from Hayes, Middlesex, witnessed a large number of jumbo jets circling Heathrow. "They were like the Red Arrows," he told our reporter, "only bigger and without the coloured smoke."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>On the ground, DW remained unrepentant.&nbsp; "It wasn't my fault," he said. "Those silly buggers told me to take off my belt and my braces. I warned 'em it would lead to trouble, but they insisted. I said to them, I said, &lsquo;what kind of damage do you think I'm gonna do with a pair of braces? Turn 'em into a catapult?' They wouldn't listen, so I did as I was told and took 'em off."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>When asked whether he had considered wearing clean Y-fronts before flying, he was just as pig-headed.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>"When I'm flying off on holiday, I don't expect my shreddies to come into the equation. I don't tell you to put clean knickers on before you interview me, do I? No, well, my underpants are my affair, and I'll wear them for as long as I see fit ... or until they fall apart. Whichever comes first."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Mrs DW was in no mood to apologise for her husband's behaviour. "He changes his underpants as regular as clockwork. June and December, whether he needs to or not. And you should be quizzing those bloody security guards, not me. Misery guts warned them and I told them they'd regret it, but they're just as bloody stubborn as him. All I can say is it's a good thing he hadn't taken his Viagra before we got ot the airport."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>The air traffic outage, which lasted for almost three hours, stranded Prime Minister, Hammon Brown, in Magaluf, Majorca, where he was attending a European summit. Speaking from a private room in the Lively Ass Disco, Mr Brown called for a Parliamentary review of current anti-terrorist legislation to include a dress code for air travellers.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>"I think this situation demonstrates the urgent need for legislation compelling passengers to change their underwear no later than three hours before take off."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>When asked if such legislation might be too draconian, the PM replied, "We cannot be too cautious in ensuring the continuity and safety of air travel. The consequences of this old fool's Y-fronts on display on board the actual aircraft in flight are too dreadful to contemplate."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>DW's lawyers are confident that no legal action will follow the incident.&nbsp; "We have ample precedents," said Ivan Rippofski, attorney at law. "If you're going to prosecute DW for flashing his butt, you'd have to prosecute every bricklayer, plumber and road digger in the country, and our client cannot be held responsible for the sensitivity of the security officer concerned. She'd have seen a damn sight more if she'd been operating the whole body scanner."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>When we put this point of view to the security operator, Ms Ima Shawtsite (62) she fainted on the spot.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>"She's never been married," said a colleague, patting Ms Shawtsite's hand to revive her.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Our hero remains unmiffed at the fuss. "At least I was wearing underpants," said DW. "It could have been a lot worse if I'd forgotten to put them on."</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>"And that happens more than you might imagine," Said Mrs DW.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>

<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--></p> <p>I've been back from the Island of Eternal Spring for 4 weeks now, so I thought it was time to show some of the sights of Tenerife.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Thanks to a cock up in the calculations, I didn't take my DSLR, so I was lumbered with an old Fuji muppet job. Refusing to be beaten, I coughed up for a new compact, and some of the results you can see below.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>This first picture was our favourite pub ... only it wasn't. I didn't realise that the camera I'd bought had a built-in 2 second delay, and I'd already moved it before the shutter operated, meaning I got a wonderful shot of the foot of the block below us, and a the lid of a car on the main street.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="../media/images/apad/11_e8f14d0c3af9a1e1_2.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="300" /></p> <p>If at first you don't succeed have another bash and bugger it up again. This time I managed to get the pub, but the 2-second timer meant you couldn't move the camera at all ... and I did.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="../media/images/apad/11_ca4e9492d16e4a8b.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="300" /></p> <p>This third picture tells a lot of stories, particularly about my mind. The sculpture is supposed to represent a seal playing with a beach ball, but it looked to me like something rather more ... er ... reproductive. The black blob is the sun burning the pixels out and as you can see, the entire island of Tenerife tilts seriously to port. The foot is mine. I was lounging on a ... er ... lounger when I took it.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="../media/images/apad/11_e8f14d0c3af9a1e1_3.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="300" /></p> <p>No visit to Tenerife would be complete without taking in Las Ca&ntilde;adas national park, and one of its best know landmarks, the Queen's Shoe. Trouble was the bus driver didn't stop so I had to take this picture as we were passing. Still you can see that it looks like a high heeled shoe. You can't see it? Well look a little closer, it's in there somewhere.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="../media/images/apad/11_e8f14d0c3af9a1e1_4.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="300" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>This little tyke was a regular visitor. He only spoke pigeon English, but he understood the taste of jammie dodgers and cheese sandwiches.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="../media/images/apad/11_ca4e9492d16e4a8b_1.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="300" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Finally, no Robinson holiday would be complete without the obligatory photo of ... the bath plug. The missus' eyes are almost as bad as mine, so she went into the bathroom where the light bulb was bigger to read the instructions on the back of the camera ... and it went off.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="../media/images/apad/11_e8f14d0c3af9a1e1_5.jpg" border="0" width="399" height="254" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: left;">For some reason, when I check the post, the pictures are not showing, so I've included them as a gallery along the top.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>