<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables /> <w:SnapToGridInCell /> <w:WrapTextWithPunct /> <w:UseAsianBreakRules /> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Well for a start, he isn&rsquo;t a child, but the Roman god Cupid, who governs erotic desire and sensual passion.<span>&nbsp; </span>His youthful persona implies mischief which he happily unleashes with his golden (and leaden) arrows.<span>&nbsp; </span>Cupid&rsquo;s cherubic image is one of the most iconic symbols of Valentine&rsquo;s Day and is currently plastered all over the high street. <span>&nbsp;</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Along with sickly pink balloons, eye-wateringly bright tinsel and a whole range of other cheap tat bearing extortionate price tags, all this stuff is pushed in the sure knowledge that the majority of the populace adhere to the principle that material manifestation of love is beyond price.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">I&rsquo;m happy to say that Nearest &amp; Dearest isn&rsquo;t one of them.<span>&nbsp; </span>If he presented me with a glittery, heart shaped balloon sporting a naked Cupid I would either faint or puke or probably both!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">N &amp; D is not one of the great romantics, in fact, after I&rsquo;d been enticed into matrimony, he announced on the eve of Valentine&rsquo;s day that he hadn&rsquo;t bought a card as there didn&rsquo;t seem much point now we&rsquo;d tied the knot!<span>&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Contrast this with my first boyfriend who had something of a fruit fetish.<span>&nbsp; </span>Understandably I suppose as he lived on a farm with an orchard full of apple and pear trees.<span>&nbsp; </span>We were both five years old and met in Mrs Buckstar&rsquo;s infant class.<span>&nbsp; </span>His name was Frankie and he wore an iron on his leg due to polio from which he was still recovering.<span>&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">He was a very gentle little boy who brought me an apple or pear every morning which we would eat during playtime, sitting on the wall beside the lavatories like a pair of diminutive bookends.<span>&nbsp; </span>My older cousins teased me unmercifully about him as he was undersized and couldn&rsquo;t run about like the other children.<span>&nbsp; </span>I&rsquo;m ashamed to say I dumped Frankie at the earliest opportunity and still suffer a twinge of conscious when I think about it!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Not so Laurence!<span>&nbsp; </span>I was about fifteen or sixteen when he appeared on the scene.<span>&nbsp; </span>I really couldn&rsquo;t stand the sight of him!<span>&nbsp; </span>Strangely I remember his friend better, Steve who was severely myopic and had a weight problem which was accentuated by his short stature.<span>&nbsp; </span>Laurence on the other hand was exceptionally tall and seemed to sway in the slightest breeze.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">He was also very shy and used Steve as a go between.<span>&nbsp; </span>As we all had to catch the same bus to school I could hardly avoid either of them.<span>&nbsp; </span>If Steve wasn&rsquo;t around I&rsquo;d find notes from Laurence stuck in my school bag!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">I can&rsquo;t really remember how I got rid of these two, probably started work and caught a different bus, but their attentions were nothing as to the unwanted gropings of Anthony.<span>&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">He was in my class and can only be described as a geek.<span>&nbsp; </span>He was an expert in building radios which was his major passion.<span>&nbsp; </span>His minor passion was me who he was forever trying to kiss in the corner of the library!<span>&nbsp; </span>As we were both library prefects and at our school the library was an under used resource, he had frequent opportunity!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">I wouldn&rsquo;t have minded so much, but he had really bad breath and far too much testosterone even for a boy that age.<span>&nbsp; </span>I subsequently found out he&rsquo;d also tried it on with two of my friends, also library prefects!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">I&rsquo;ll gloss over Clive and Ken, both of which only added to my belief that I&rsquo;d got some kind of secret tattoo on my fore-head which said, &ldquo;Geeks and Weirdoes welcome here!&rdquo;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">I&rsquo;ve no doubt I performed a similar role to the young men that brought my colour up.<span>&nbsp; </span>Fortunately for me, they never spared me a second glance as most of them were very bad boys which my Pa would have escorted from the house at the end of a twelve-bore!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">I was eighteen when I met N &amp; D who was neither, a geek, weirdo or a bad boy! <span>&nbsp;</span><span>&nbsp;</span>Neither was he a fat kid with wings, but he was pretty good with a bow!</span></p>