You all know me. I'm not one for complaining.

Right, now that we've got the opening gag out of the way, let's get down to the griping, and today's target is that wonderful institution, the Post Office.

As you're all aware I've been on sick for some months, and one of the problems delaying my return to work is the company's request for a doctor's report. My doctor received the request in June. As I write, the company still do not have it because they haven't paid the invoice, and the reason they haven't paid the invoice is because they never received it.

My doctor's surgery is housed in a brand new, purpose built 8-storey block near the town centre bus station.

My company is about 3 miles away, housed on the site of two old mills, one of which still stands. It's four storeys high and blocks out the sun of an afternoon. Right next door to it is our bulk store, which is taller than the mill and also blocks out the sun. There is a constant stream of traffic in and out of the yard all day, most of it juggernauts delivering stock.

On the other side of the site, the side where I work, the buildings are low rise, but the parking of over 300 trailers and 80 tractor units is a bit of a clue to our business. The place employs upwards of 2,000 people and if you walked round the perimeter of the entire site, you would cover about 1mile.

As if that's not enough, there are signs at all gates telling the world who we are and what we do for a living. Even if the name has changed a few times over the years, we are still one of the biggest mail order operations in Great Britain if not Europe.

Having painted this picture, it's tempting to ask why, when asked to deliver an invoice from three miles away, Royal Mail marked the envelope "Addressee gone away" and returned it undelivered.

If this addressee has "gone away" who's driving all those trucks with our name and logo on the side that still rumble in and out of the gates? My mate Jim must be lonely because he's still turning up for work six days a week. And if they've gone away who are all those people I keep speaking to on the phone?

Not only did the Post Office return the invoice undelivered, but they did so via their returns depot ... in Belfast. All up timescale: 5 weeks, to make an outward journey of three miles and an inbound trip by road and sea of about 600 miles.

Answer on a postcard, please, routed via Baltimore (I figure it'll be quicker than Belfast.)