Australia has a Federal Election coming up on Saturday, so for the last six months, we've been subjected to a an increasing barrage of lies, damn lies and statistics interlarded with generous amounts of muck-raking, mud-slinging and backstabbing to the point where my ears are aching from having my fingers shoved in them while I sing ‘la-la-la'.

Nothing unusual there, but what truly confounds me is that people actually believe what polis say. Do they really think candidates will keep their promises? Don't they realise that a lot of the promises sound good, but depend on factors over which the candidate has no control? And that the vehemence with which he/she makes them has nothing whatsoever to do with his/her sincerity or ability to deliver the goods? It's all an exorbitantly expensive circus with ringmasters whose egos are bigger than the entire continent and its surrounding waters - better than the alternatives, certainly, but still depressing for all that.

So as usual, I will make my decision on negatives: which party has annoyed me the least, and in my opinion, told me the fewest lies. But the most depressing aspect is that in fifty years of voting, my vote has never mattered a damn anyway. I've always lived in a safe seat. Its flavour has varied depending on the area, but as a committed and dedicated swinging voter, it's extremely disheartening to know that I can't unseat the sitting member however hard I try.