If I get through the season of good will without killing someone it will be a miracle!

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Last minute shopping yesterday started with the usual chocolate induced optimism but plunged rapidly down hill once the last of the euphoric dregs had been drained.

The garage which was supposed to be fitting a new lock and reprogramming the radio calmly informed us that it wouldn't be finished until five in the evening! My son would have fitted a new engine in that time! When I pointed this out to the receptionist, she gave me an icy glare and asked me if I expected the mechanics to work through their lunch and tea breaks. As the wretched lock had been on order for the best part of three months, I wondered how long their breaks were!

Biting my lip, we hit the shops, or rather they hit us! The High Cross shopping centre is a huge confusion of glitter, glass and lemming like humanity picking and poking around piles of over priced tat in spite of blazing sale signs screaming 70% reductions!

Nearest and dearest began to screen out which triggered the first of our rows! Thinking he'd followed me into one store I then spent twenty minutes searching the place top to bottom as he'd all the dosh. Wondering if he'd run off with one of the check out dollies, I eventually found him leaning against a bike rack our on the street!

Having entertained half the thorough fare with our colourful dialogue, we finally got the call to collect the car. Now I'm not much of an expert when it comes to makes and models. The truth is I rely on colour so when I saw a black vehicle some what like our Disco I made a determined beeline for it and was just about to throw myself into the passenger seat when I heard Nearest and Dearest guffawing from the opposite side of the car park where our car was parked!

Another "colourful" altercation then followed which then ratched up a couple of notches when we discovered the only house key we have was missing from its usual hidey hole!

Today has been somewhat better, only one spat so far! Hubby has just driven the car into the garage completely blocking all access to the freezer! Not only that, but the turkey is sitting quite naked upon its lid and has just received a liberal blasting of exhaust fumes!

Anyone want a grumpy old woman for Christmas?