See a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck.

You could:

[More:]

1. Find one of the few shops left that still sells penny sweets. (You're unlikely to be lucky enough to spend a penny anywhere else these days, not even many public conveniences.)

2. Toss the penny and, when luck turns it up heads, you get to buy the next round.

3. Con a quid out of someone using it for lucky magic coin tricks.

4. Introduce your children to gambling at a young age by winning on the penny falls.

5. Find fortune on your side when you're in A & E for less than five hours after one of your kids finds the penny and inserts it in a mouth/ear/nose/other orifice. (Delete as appropriate.)

See a penny, pick it up, and keep on picking, you're rat race struck.

You could:

1. Develop a stoop from the weight of all that money and trying to keep it safe.

2. Buy a big car or two on life-tying H.P. and heat up the rest of the world for free.

3. Buy a big house that you'll never spend any time in because you're so busy working. (Still, at least your cleaner will enjoy the new furniture and your best bottle of Bourbon.)

4. Have more children, not because you've any time to spend with them, but at least then you'll have someone (besides the Government) to leave your wealth to. In the meantime, work even harder to pay for all those little extras for the kids: designer trainers, their own televisions, expensive extra tuition to help them join the rat race too.

5. Teach your children that money is God and buy them their own gold giant hamster wheel.

See a penny, pick it up, though money can make a good life come unstuck.

29 November, 2007

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