What is it about women with full-on fake tans? I'm not talking about those with a lightly sunkissed skin, I'm not adverse to a slight tan myself. But what I can't understand is the ones who turn their skin a completely different colour.

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Now, I'm not saying there aren't one or two things God gave me which I wouldn't mind changing - not that I'm going to tell you what they are! But I wouldn't want to look like I've been smoking several hundred of day, cos, let's face it, some of these overdone fake tans do. In fact, some I've seen are so orange they almost look like a carrot.

Of course, I suppose I should give people credit for using fake tanning products and avoiding the cancerous risks of too much real sun. (Not to mention the way it can turn supple skin into a worn piece of old leather!)

But if people want to look that colour, why not move to the French riviera, where such tanning is commonplace - or wait till global warming really starts to heat up here! Better still though, why not make do with the beautiful skin they were born with - whatever colour that happens to be!