Chewing it over!
So the ban on smoking in indoor public places came into force across England at the end of the summer. Hurrah! But while we're at it, why not go a little further and ban other forms of antisocial behaviour - like chewing gum in public or those irritatingly tasteless mobile phone ringtones!
Why, I hear you ask? Well, firstly I'm fed up with stepping in discarded gum or getting it stuck to my clothes. (Have you ever tried getting it off without wrecking your clothes? It's a nightmare!) And, though I've no scientific evidence to back this up, surely sticky used gum is a germ trap. It's covered in someone else's spit after all!
As for the ringtones, apart from my fears of deafness, surely those annoyingly loud, childish, "look at me" ringtones are a serious risk of provoking irrational behaviour, though hopefully not smashing the offending phone to bits!
And if all of those reasons sound too full-on, then surely irritating ringtones and chewing gum should be banned in public simply because, without such annoying habits, the world would be a far nicer place.
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No offence meant to any responsible gum-chewers, particularly not those who've used it to quit smoking.