DW's Showcase

Just to make a general nuisance of myself, the long awaited publication of the Haunting of Melmerby Manor has happened, and the first of the Spookies Mysteries is out as a e-book (POD paperback at a later date)

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Interesting snippet in this morning’s news.

A couple took their two children to a Chinese Restaurant and asked for two adults and two children. They were surprised to be billed for three adults and one child.

Apparently their ten-year-old boy was 4’11” tall and that makes him an adult.

Does it?

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Re queries on my expenses.

2nd Home: Granted, the second home is a wardrobe, but with dimensions of 4x3x2 (metres) it is large enough to live in and, indeed, until 2007, it housed a family of asylum seekers until the courts granted an eviction order (see legal expenses). Since I send much of my time actually living in the wardrobe when Ma’am will not let me share the bed, I believe this claim to be within the rules.

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What follows is a true story. I know Nigel well. I have worked with him for the last 10 years. He asked me if I would write his life story: the tale of a woman trapped in a man’s body.

The subject matter is less controversial these days than it would have been 20-30 years ago, but nevertheless, some people will find it distasteful. I have been speaking to him for the last 8 moths about the project, stressing that (s)he is leaving him/herself open to potential embarrassment and ridicule. With a year to go to the final surgery that will turn him into the her he feels he should have been from birth, Nigel/Nikki is prepared to face that, because he feels, and I agree, that he has a story to tell.

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It’s time to test your powers of observation. Here are two pictures of yours truly. Can you spot the difference? You can’t cheat by saying the curtains have disappeared or that Ma’am has a different shade on the lamp. The difference is with me. Can you spot it?

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I can’t claim credit for this. I received it in an email, but read and enjoy.

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A certain supermarket, who shall remain nameless, but who happen to be one of the most profitable in the world, has just opened a new, 24-hour, megamarket about 2 miles from me, and naturally, curiosity being what it is, I tootled down there to see what was on offer.

Everything. That’s the nub of it. I can buy almost whatever I want, except a woman, but then I have enough of those with Ma’am.

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If you’ve been following my trials and tribulations, you must have a life as sad as mine. You will also be aware that since breaking my ankle last November, I’ve sat around the house twiddling my thumbs and doing sweet Francis.

Today, all that changed and I went back to work, where I sat around all day, twiddling my thumbs and doing sweet Francis. There’s something more satisfying about doing nothing and being paid a tenner an hour for doing it than sitting at home doing it for nowt.

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DW’s Guide To Holidays is almost complete and I need readers

It’s only about 100 pages, about 45,000 words and I need to test it before publishing.

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A comment from Nicola Cleasby on my AWOL post prompted this piece (thanks Nicola.)

As most of you know, I’ve been off work for about 6 months and I go back on Monday. And I’m looking forward to it. Not to the work but the pleasure of getting out of the house and being somewhere else for 8-10 hours a day.

But it does something else, too. It generates ideas.

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You may have noticed I’ve not been quite as busy these last few days. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you didn’t notice. Maybe you noticed and thought, thank God for that, we’ve seen the back of him.

Whatever your stand, I have been AWOL because I’ve been busy elsewhere. Life is on the move again. I’m going back to work on Monday.

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