First of all, apologies to David and Marit who have serious knee problems – my saga is inconsequential in comparison. But the knee and its knoblessness have dominated much of my last couple of months.

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It’s almost eight weeks since my knee op: it wasn’t anything dramatic, just the removal of a 1.5 inch cyst. But of course these things take time to heal, and I had expected to be completely back to normal within a couple of days. I am an impatient patient. The cyst had for weeks been causing a lot of pain, and the general lack of exercise + the op made my thigh muscles give up, or severely weakened them. I realized after a very short time that if I overdid anything (and ‘overdoing’ meant even walking for half an hour) the knee was not happy, swelled up, became very red and hot, and screamed ‘Stop! Ice!’ I was put on a progressively intensive exercise regime, which really disciplined me. The first week I simply had to tighten my quadriceps and do a few leg raises a couple of times a day.

But I’ve come a long way in two months. I am now on a programme so long and complicated that it would take about two and a half hours a day to complete in its entirety.

Many of the exercises require me to lift 3 kilos (6.6 pounds) with my leg. So with two very professional-looking gym weights and a bag of flour (wholemeal) tied round my ankle with a bright orange scarf, I do lying down leg-raises, then I stand up and do a can-can type thing, then the ‘ding-dong’ (knee up in front at right angles to body, swing foot, flour and weights and scarf left and right), then standing with knees together the foot (and its baggage) gets raised backwards and held for ten seconds. All of these exercises are done several times each.

Phew. Weight off. I balance on the bad leg for one minute. Then there’s my home made ‘roller-coaster’ – a plank of wood screwed onto a maxi rolling pin. I have to balance on that – or try to – for several minutes. My record is four seconds, but the physio says it’s the trying that counts. This morning over breakfast my husband was telling me about the ‘trust, not try’ technique in golf – I think I’ll try that (trust that?) on my next balancing act.

I have to do all the above morning and evening. And I’m meant to cycle for half an hour, swim for twenty minutes, and walk two kilometers every day. Also, I have to stretch the scar down, up and sideways - this is for aesthetic purposes, to avoid ridging.

I am quite diligent, and the knee has got nearly all its knobs back. My main complaint is that most of the exercises are incompatible with multitasking (I have to count the seconds while I do the weights stuff, and find it difficult to simultaneously read a book). I can iron standing on one leg, and the cycling and walking get combined with shopping or exercising the dog. Swimming goes with reflection, which I suppose is useful.

Yesterday I typed up a beautiful chart for the next ten days (After all this is over I shall attempt to sell the chart and my roller-coaster – both patented – to my physio!) I reckon if there are a lot of ticks every day I’m doing well – it would be impossible to complete everything.

I did the entire weight lot before breakfast this morning, and that took forty-five minutes. Fortunately they changed the clocks last weekend, so I got an early start!