I considered putting this on the Arena but chickened out at the last moment.

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Whatcha mean? Wanna start a arguement?

It dont matter if yew cant spel. We allus txt evryfing. Thier aint oat we cant spel. U just rite the way it sounds. We dunno y ya all fusing so.

We had a laf when we herd the times is goin on abart how bad it is. They use two longa words in there paper anyway. We ud rather look at the birds in the sun.

The old bat at skool says we must pas xams if we want to sukseed. Wafor noone in the street has worked for years. Yo dont need to spel to right grafiti on walls. None of the poems in the bog ryme any way. You can stil get marks for riteing ya name and telling the old bat to eff orf.

When we want exstacy we only need to aks for E wee all no that and as four H and coke thats obvious ennit?

The old bat ses we shodna ignor how words are spelt if we are to grasp the opertunitys in life. We difinitely aint gotta clue when she rants on abart being embarased cos we cant spel. Yew dont need to spel acomodation rand ere they only ave rooms to let when theyres any empty.

When we go dawn the shops we dont need to cue as the only kewing we ever do is at the biliards hall.

Thiers no point in us noing if e comes befor eye or what ever. On a beting slip you just kopy out the nags name.

Whacha mean I aint got a snoballs chance in hel of pasing. I aint bovvad.

{Inspired by articles in The Times]