Oh, that Alf is a one!

13/07/07

Permalink 01:02:50 pm, 348 words, 358 views   English (UK)
Categories: Miss Hale's Diary

Oh, that Alf is a one!

He’s the bell master from the parish church and my does he gossip.

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Campanologists more like gossiptologists if you ask me. They’re mostly men up there in the belfry ringing those bells for weddings, funerals, deaths, jubilees – oh all sorts!

I’ve even had a go at this bell ringing lark myself as Ted (no not Father Ted aye that’s the one Postman Ted) said he’d show me the ropes and guide me like. Well believe you me it was really embarrassing.

Whilst I was holding the ropes with him at the other side facing me like, he stretched up and so did his pullover (which isn't a pretty sight first thing of a morning) and his belly touched mine. Oh it were ‘orrible and I made some lame excuse not to go again.

Mind you it is frightening ‘cos the last woman in the belfry ended up swinging upside down as her foot got stuck in the rope. Apparently you could see the hole in the knee of her knickers!

I’ll tell you what though, who sez men don’t gossip – up in that belfry they’re like a bunch of old women!

Oh, it was shocking what Alf told me this morning and not fit for Godly ears. I hurried him in off the doorstep and offered him a cup of tea it was that shocking! The vicar carrying on like that – disgusting! How is he going to bring himself to preach over that poor young dead man’s funeral I don’t know. And then there’s the Christening of that there child. Course by that time the vicar could be long gone. Always knew there was something not right about him.

I shouldn’t have been so hasty letting Alf in like that because when he left, I could see Alwyn’s net curtains twitching from across the road. Oh here she comes wanting to know what Alf said and what was he doing in your house this morning with that know it all look.

‘Come in, Alwyn!'

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